Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'

Nevermore -- ain't that for 'sho!  Some relationships just aren't meant to be, and this one is done.  Done, dead, over, finito.  Who'd have thought I'd be initiating a break up just two weeks before my wedding?  And that my fiancee would be totally, 100% on board?  Yep, even my soon-to-be husband agrees it's time for me to say adios to R. the hairdresser.

Burn me once, shame on you.  Burn me twice, shame on me.  Cut a chunk of bangs on one side of my head that looks like I fell asleep chewing bubble gum and had my blind 96-year-old Grandmother cut it out -- after being explicitly asked to JUST TRIM MY DEAD ENDS AND NOTHING ELSE -- two weeks before my wedding?  Shame on... well, just shame.  A crying shame (and oh did I cry!).  But even I could have forgiven an honest mistake (or admitted it doesn't really look that bad)... had R. made any attempt to make it up to me.  What I can't forgive is that, after five years of loyal patronage and sending him four now-regular clients and goodness knows how many others, R. did not even bother to return my tearful message.  Nope, he had his assistant call me back -- LAME.  It was well below a C effort and really, at this juncture, I'm only interested in A's or above.

So we're moving on to better things, like handing out Halloween candy to what we've been told will be at least 100 neighborhood children.  My fiancee, who is giddy with excitement and dressed like the Hamburgler, just asked me, "Are the parents going to think we're the weird house instead of the cool house because I'm dressed up?" (Probably.)  He really wants to be the popular house for Halloween on Woodward Way, which is why he insists on giving out full-size candy bars so we gain some street cred with the kiddos -- though we may be missing the mark because the second most excited kid was the one who took the banana, which we put out as a joke.  Anyway, about the street cred: I do think it's working - we've had massive crowds already and only a few of them have laughed at my bangs.

The Masked Crusader was totally supportive of me throughout the bang ordeal and with my ensuing decision to call it quits with R. He's super sweet to the trick 'er treaters, too, whereas I insist they take only one item or else the demon who lives under our stairs will likely follow them home.

 

So maybe my hair didn't look so great pre-haircut, either; nevertheless, I'll consider going back to R. when this skeleton rises us out of his grave and gives me a full-size Kit Kat,  like the ones we're handing out.